Rediscovering Yourself (After A Lost Sense of Self)

Are you mentally and emotionally drained from living a life that has left you feeling a lost sense of self? If so, admitting these hard, vulnerable feelings is the first step to rediscovering yourself!

With a bit of work and reflection, you can rediscover yourself. You can get back to the person you were before you started feeling lost!

How Does A Lost Sense of Self Happen?

At some point along the line, you felt a lost sense of self, and now you are working at rediscovering yourself. In order to rediscover yourself, it is important to understand how you lost yourself to begin with!

Developing a lost sense of self can happen a few different ways.

It is no secret that we accumulate more and more responsibilities as we move throughout our lives. It could be balancing a job and finding a work/life balance. Or it could be the responsibilities that come with becoming a parent and starting a family.

There is no shortage of pressure and demands on our time.

It is easy to experience a loss of identity when we juggle so many responsibilities. Who were you before you started your career or before you became a parent?

It is also possible that you started losing your sense of self before you became a parent or a professional.

If you think back to when you were young, your sole responsibility was to play and be imaginative. Then you were sent to school and imagination and creativity took a back seat to other responsibilities.

And, most importantly, this is the time of your life when you learned how ‘important’ it is to ‘fit in’.

For many of us, our goal for a large portion of our young life was to be like everyone else. Doing as we were told by friends, parents and teachers was really important. I mean, heaven forbid if we were seen as “uncool”, right?

In some cases, you may have even chosen your career based on what someone told you was considered “successful”.

At this point, you may have realized that you’ve spent your life people-pleasing and trying to fit into society’s mould. Maybe you’ve been going through the motions, and you are now realizing that you aren’t truly happy with your life.

If this feels like your life, then rediscovering yourself is probably exactly what you need to do!

But what does rediscovering yourself even mean?

Rediscovering Yourself Meaning

It is time to start rediscovering yourself – meaning, it is time to get in touch with who you were before your loss of identity!

When you spend so much time focused on one thing that you feel is so important, it is natural to lose sight of what you truly want in your heart.

Whether you feel that you have lost your identity after becoming a parent, or after prioritizing your job for too long, it is possible to move forward with rediscovering your roots and who you once were.

Rediscovering yourself means taking action to reconnect with the things you used to be passionate about and the goals you once had. It means taking inventory of what is important in your life and changing your priorities accordingly.

Let’s look at 5 things you can start doing right now to start rediscovering yourself after a lost sense of self.

#1. Change Your Mindset

When you have a lost sense of self, it can be hard to get to a point where you are ready to start rediscovering yourself. It takes a certain mindset to help you shift gears out of years of habits that have kept you stuck where you are.

When facing a loss of identity, it is common to struggle with limiting beliefs about yourself. This is when you allow your mind to tell you all sorts of reasons why you can’t make changes in your life that will help with rediscovering yourself.

For example, “I don’t get any time to myself” is something you might tell yourself to explain why you never do anything you are passionate about.

However, with the right mindset, you can look at the time you have available in your day and find creative ways to do things that you are passionate about.

It could be as easy as replacing the hour of TV you watch at night with a hobby that gives you life. Or, it could be a creative way of working your hobbies into play time with your children to share your passions with them.

A growth mindset is a useful tool to help us overcome the limiting beliefs we have about what we are capable of. Instead of pointing out the problems and allowing them to defeat us, a growth mindset helps us to find solutions.

Finding time for rediscovering yourself will always feel like a challenge. But a growth mindset will help you see challenges as opportunities for growth. And rediscovering who you are after a loss of identity is a form of growth!

It will always be easier to use your limiting beliefs as excuses for why you have a lost sense of self. But with the right attitude and the right mindset, you can take the first step toward rediscovering yourself.

#2. Reconnect With Your Passions

At some point in your life, you made a decision that brought you to where you are right now. 

In most cases, we begin our path into adulthood by pursuing our passions. But somewhere along the line, you may have started losing your sense of self as your responsibilities started distracting you from your passions.

We don’t always have time to do the things we love to do. And over time, we can lose the connection to our passions.

If you are feeling like you are losing your sense of self, one of the best ways to start rediscovering yourself is to take some time to revisit your passions. Now, it is easy to dismiss this idea due to lack of time. But it doesn’t have to be this way!

One of the best ways to revisit your passions is to find a way to work them into what you are already doing. The Japanese concept of the ikigai tells us that combining our strengths and passions in our work is the key to happiness.

In most cases, it is possible to find passion and meaning in any job. It takes a particular mindset since it is easier in some jobs over others. If you can’t, you may want to look elsewhere for work that allows you to apply your strengths and passions so that you can rediscover yourself.

#3. Think About What’s Important

If you are feeling like you have a lost sense of self, it could be because you aren’t focusing on what is important to you.

This is a common side effect of focusing too much on working and making money. We all need to work and save money for the important things in our lives. But it is easy to forget just what those important things are when we get busy!

Take a moment to slow down and remember the things that are important to you. What you believe is important is unique to you. And if you can focus on something important to you, you will find it easier to start rediscovering yourself!

#4. Reconnecting With Your Goals

Another thing that we lose sight of as we enter adult life is the goals that we once held dear.

Think back to when you were younger. Back to the time when you had big crazy dreams and ambitions for your life. If you are feeling that you are losing your sense of self, it is likely that you haven’t made progress toward reaching those goals.

Now, it is possible that some of those goals were silly and not very realistic in the first place. But we all have goals and dreams on our hearts that are still possible to reach!

In order to start rediscovering yourself, think back to an important goal that you once held dear. Does it still light a fire in your soul like it used to?

To answer this question, you will need to cut through the fog of everyday life. Don’t let your responsibilities keep you from thinking about what it would be like to start working toward this goal.

Make a plan to take even just one small step in the direction of your goal. You will be amazed at how powerful it can be to refocus on a goal that was once important to you!

#5. Take Action

As we enter adult life, it quickly becomes predictable. This is one reason that we end up with a lost sense of self.

We build a safe comfort zone that makes life predictable so that we don’t have to worry as much. Uncertainty and the fear of the unknown aren’t things people tend to enjoy!

But, it is easy to start losing your sense of self when you spend too much time in your comfort zone.

Once you have the right mindset, and have reconnected with your passions, goals, and what is important to you, it is time to take action!

If you are feeling stuck with a lost sense of self, remember that sitting around isn’t a productive use of your time. After reflecting, you know who you used to be and the things that used to light a fire in your heart.

So go out and get them!

Challenge yourself to step outside your comfort zone. Grow, learn something new, and be reinvigorated by the challenge of rediscovering yourself!

If you are looking for more tools to help you rediscover yourself, check out this list of find yourself journal prompts!

Don’t forget to share this post with your friends and family on social media! If you know someone who has been trying to rediscover themselves, this post could be just what they need!


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